- Abusers can do nice things for people they are not abusing.
- Abusers can do nice things for people that they are abusing.
- Abusers can otherwise seem like nice, caring, supportive people when they are not actively abusing someone.
- It does not mean they’re not fucking abusers.
Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
Liberal vs. Radical Feminism on gender, in a nutshell.
In her book, “Against Our Will”, Susan Brownmiller has a chapter where she looks at what happens to men who are raped in prison. The answer: they often become “feminine” - masochistic, “soft”, delicate etc.
Femininity is internalized abuse. It is the psychology and disposition of a masochist. It is ritualized submission.
It is seen as clearly pathological and unhealthy when manifested in men - those human beings who matter, who are entitled to real dignity. When manifested in women, it is considered “natural” - a reflection of what women really, innately are.
Abolish gender. Women and girls deserve nothing less.